If you decide to move to or visit Taiwan, at some point you’ll have to use a restroom. It’s unavoidable. It may be a private bathroom at your friend’s house or in your hotel room or it may be a public restroom at, say, a freeway rest area. Either way, you must be prepared. You’re probably thinking: “How can it be so different? What do I need to be prepared for? It’s as simple as Step 1: Drop trou. Step 2: ???? Step 3: Profit!” Not so.
You should know that the Chinese are incredibly practical. What may appear to a westerner to be a simple oversight or perhaps just laziness is perfectly normal here. Exhibit A: Taiwanese do not use shower curtains. At first, this had me miffed. I distinctly remember my first visit to Taiwan and Miss Expatriate explaining to me that this was quite normal. “So what how do I do this? I don’t want to get water all over the floor.” “Don’t worry about it,” was her reply.
So I did what any self-respecting Westerner who doesn’t want to make a huge mess would do: I sat down. It felt rather odd to me; I’m used to standing up and spraying water everywhere, knowing that my trusty shower curtain will contain any random sprays and that I will be able, in a few minutes. to fling open the curtain and walk quite safely on a nice dry floor. Now I was half a world away and getting water everywhere. Now, of course, I’m not ashamed to say that afterwards, even though I was as careful as possible, I felt rather guilty. Water on the floor, on the sink, just everywhere. I carefully climbed out of the tub, hoping that I wouldn’t slip and break my neck, got a towel and proceeded to tell Miss Expatriate that it was her turn. “Should I clean up first? Do we have a mop?” “No, I’ll take care of it,” she said. Indeed, after she was finished, I saw her dutifully cleaning the floor and directing the water to a small drain beneath the sink.
The Taiwanese, you see, have foregone the use of shower curtains and have, instead, installed a drain on the floor of every bathroom. Extremely practical. Even given this, I still feel guilty everytime I take a bath and get water everywhere. This has its upsides though. For one, I can now shave and not really have to worry what happens. It’s quite refreshing to finish shaving and to slap some nice, cool water on your face afterwards and not have to worry about making sure it all ends up the sink. If you get some on the floor, just get your trusty broom (they sell special brooms for use in bathrooms) and sweep the water towards the drain. Done.
Moving on we come to the toilet. Most Westerners are not used to it, but many toilets in Taiwan will come with “extras.” By that I mean they may have several buttons and have the ability to spray water up your bum after you finish your business. Any of these buttons will have handy pictures, so use at your own risk. What I really want to warn you about, however, are public toilets. If you’re at a friend’s house or a hotel, you will most certainly have a Western-style toilet. This is known the world over – sit down, grab a paper, enjoy. Not so in most public toilets. Here you must be prepared for the Asian-style toilet, which many people will never be able to use (I daresay I could use one if I really tried, but I don’t really want to try). These look very much like urinals which have been moved down into the floor. The process is quite simple – one foot on each side, drop your pants, and squat. We’re not talking a Western-style squat, either. That’s the kind where you bend down, your heels come off the floor, and your knees hyperextend. It’s very bad on all your lower joints and is not stable. No, I’m talking about an Asian squat. This is very much like a weight-lifting squat. Heels stay on the floor, knees stay directly above your ankles, and your butt is very nearly on the floor and your back is straight. It’s actually quite comfortable and sustainable for long periods of time, in addition to being a very natural and ergonomic position (squatting is the most ergonomic position for bowel movements – one of the reasons why many Taiwanese who use Western toilets also have small stool nearby for putting their feet up to simulate an Asian squat). After assuming the position, you hold your balance until your duty is done.
Should you be lucky enough to find a Western toilet in a public restroom, you will, no doubt, breath a sign of relief and go on about your business, only to find to your extreme horror several minutes later that there is no toilet paper. The Taiwanese, you see, are very practical. Apparently, the people in charge of taking care of the public toilets long ago realized that if they stocked them with toilet paper, the Taiwanese people would simply take it all home so they wouldn’t have to buy any. Thus, they no longer stock it with toilet paper and fully expect you to bring your own. This has lead to more than one very uncomfortable ride home for me.
Now that I’ve briefed you on the ABCs of toiletry in Taiwan, I fully expect everyone will bring some baby wipes with them or, at the very least, pay a visit to the general store to procure some toilet paper upon first entering the country. You really don’t want to come unprepared.
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