Traffic

Let’s go ahead and get it out of the way: Taiwanese are horrible drivers.

There, I said it. I’ve gotten it off my chest. Normally, I try not to speak in stereotypes and generalities, but in this case – at least from my experience here – it really is true.

The problem stems from 2 interrelated aspects: (1) Taiwan is tiny and has lots of people driving cars and scooters; and (2) the Taiwanese driving test is so incredibly easy, it makes the American driver’s license test look like SATs on steroids.

First the geography. Taiwan is a tiny country. It is made up of approximately 32,260 square kilometers of landmass. Cut Missouri in half and you’re pretty close to the size of Taiwan. Now cram 23 million people (The population of Texas – America’s 2nd biggest state and the 2nd most populous) in there. Wait, wait… let’s backup a minute.

Okay, let’s start with Missouri again. Cut it in half. Now you’ve got a landmass approximately the size of Taiwan. Now take that half and cut it into equal thirds. Done that? Okay, now cross out one of those sections. The remaining 2/3rds (now 1/3d the original size of Missouri) is where people in Taiwan can live, due to there being numerous mountains and other geographical features that just aren’t suitable for building cities or otherwise living. Okay, now cram 23 million people into the remaining 2/3rds of our half-Missouri size landmass and you’ve got Taiwan.

Let’s give approximately 11 million of those people scooters. Suzuki, Yamaha, Kymco, what have you. 50cc all the way up to 150cc. Let them zoom around in the cities (not allowed on the freeways). Let’s give another 11 million or so cars. Now let’s pack them all into the city and give them an absurdly easy driving test. There, you’ve got traffic conditions in Taiwan. One more thing: Give them all cell phones, which they will talk on while driving or doing any other activity.

Concerning the driving test, let me point out that I have not yet taken it. My knowledge of it comes with speaking with people about it and reading a few articles and editorials in the Taipei Times about it. Apparently you pass a written test, which is generally easy, but then you have the take the dreaded driving test. Well… you’ll dread it if you lost both your arms in a freak accident, but they may still pass you. For parallel parking, you’ll have one instructor in your car and 3 more instructors outside the car and will be asked to parallel park into an area marked by cones. The 3 instructors outside will be yelling instructions: “Come back… turn… turn more… okay the other way.. come back…. stop!” and so on. This is how you pass. The entire test takes place in a parking lot and in no way, shape or form prepares the person taking the test for actually driving on the roads crowded with other horrible drivers, scooters, construction, weather, or any of the other scenarios you may meet on any given day.

Driving in Taiwan, you’ll quickly realize a few things: Traffic lights and signs are completely optional. You have a red light? Ignore it. wait until the crossing traffic has a red light and then floor it – even if your light hasn’t turned green yet. Want to turn left? No need to be in the left lane. Just hang out in the right lane and be sure to get the jump on everybody, cutting across 3 other lanes of traffic to get where you need to go. This is normal. I’m not going to cover it here, but naturally, given the population, number of cars, and geography, parking is often the most difficult part of driving somewhere.

All this said, I have driven in Taiwan. I drive on the freeway, which isn’t so bad, but I absolutely refuse to drive in the cities. First, I’d probably get lost. Second, I have no desire to get involved in an accident by some motorist driving their scooter the wrong way or not driving in the scooter lane, or someone driving their car across lanes of traffic without signaling, etc. It’s just not worth the risk.

OK, I’ve gotten all that off my chest. I’d like to go back and state that I have met some Taiwanese who are very good drivers. Miss Expatriate, for one, seems pretty good, although I still close my eyes and pray whenever she drives (usually due to other drivers, not her skills). Miss Expatriates dad is another. There are others, as well, whom I feel fairly safe with.

Despite this, I’d like to reiterate that the Taiwanese are extremely nice people. Driving in Taiwan is just an interesting part of the culture you will have to get used to if you decide to visit. I would highly recommend staying away from renting cars and such – stick to the railways. You’ll get more scenic views and probably have fewer headaches.